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You guys gotta read this…
An Atheist’s turmoil over his favorite holiday: Christmas!
When I got home my lovely, wonderful, deserving-of-anything-I-can-give-her wife said, “Richard, we’ve got to get the Christmas cards sent out.”
Now I’m trying to be a nice atheist this year so I said, “Ohhhhh, okaaaay,” muttering “humbug” under my breath. So I pulled this big carton out from the garage that has 37 pounds of old leftover Christmas cards…All this took a lot of time and I was tempted to chuck the whole carton into the fireplace and print up my own cards that say:
“Wishing that you don’t get seriously injured while fighting in the tiger shark feeding frenzy at the mall trying to find thoughtful and valuable gifts for everybody else who’s out getting stupid cheap stuff for you that you won’t like but will have to pretend that you do and trying to avoid going broke in the whole nonsensical process, in observance of whatever the heck holiday you celebrate, if any.”
But I didn’t do that, because I’m being a nice atheist.
Read the entire article here. I mean no disrespect, but this article cracked me up. Thanks, Richard!!
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You’re supposed to laugh, so it’s not disrespectful to be cracked up by the article. It’s funny, and it certainly illustrates that Christians, atheists and everyone in-between can agree that tacky schlock is tacky schlock and ought to be soundly mocked everytime one gets the opportunity.
*snigger*
This year I’m sending cards….eventually….but really because I want to and I can also combine it with a change of address notification. OK, I’m cheap.
Last year I sent one card to my Jehovah’s Witness friend as a joke. Also one card to my old mate Faz but only because he’s got this thing about finding the cheapest and tackiest card ever made and I thought I’d found it. It shed an awful lot of glitter while I was writing it.
On a side note I must express my severe disappointment at seeing the word “nice” in print. It’s such a horrible word, an utterly non descriptive descriptor. I first grew to dispise “nice” when I was forced to write Christmas cards at primary school and the teacher expressed her own dislike of the word and of the contraction “Xmas” (which I also dislike).
I’m glad you enjoyed it Bill. If I can bring some Christmas cheer to anyone, I’m happy. It’s always my hope to bring conflicting people together through laughter.
(By the way, your first link to my article at the top of your post works but the second one near the bottom does not.)
hoverfrog, I agree that “nice” has become an insipid term, which is why I use it ironically. I first started calling myself a nice atheist when someone told me, “Oh Richard, you must be teasing me. You can’t be an atheist. You’re too nice.” So it’s a running private joke with me and my close friends. I strive to be an honest, respectful, tolerant, kind and fair atheist, but when I’m in a sarcastic mood “nice” is a secret way to barb those folks who believe an atheist can’t be any of those things.
Have a wonderful whatever-you-call-it season, everybody.