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Over the past few months I’ve had the privilege and pleasure of getting to know one of the most unique, smart, and interesting writers/people that I’ve come across in a very long time: the author of Leaving Eden. For those of you who might not know Leaving Eden’s story, go to the About Page to catch up real quick.

I recently had the opportunity to do a short interview with LE. I’ll post the first half of the interview today followed by the second half tomorrow. Enjoy!

  1. I guess the first, and perhaps the most obvious question would be to ask why you’ve chosen to remain anonymous.

    2. I feel that most people at Wheaton are simply not ready to deal with having an atheist openly among them. When my blog is read, I want the focus to be on the story of an atheist student, not on my identity, and I deliberately try to be as vague as possible about that. I think people will be more likely to listen to my story this way, when it’s not prejudiced by their perception of me. I don’t want to be judged on the basis of my atheism by people at Wheaton who only know me in passing.

    There are also more practical reasons: I don’t know what the repercussions would be if I came out while still a student at Wheaton. Even though deconversion probably wouldn’t be a basis for expulsion or disciplinary action, there is still a lot at stake at a school where everything is based on the assumption that all students are Christians. Almost all of my classes, for example, require me to give devotions, write papers and participate in class discussions about my personal spiritual life and my views on Christian theology, and there’s no precedent for atheist students.
    There are a lot of things I want to write about that my anonymity doesn’t allow. I would like to write about classes I’m in or the discipline that I’m majoring in, or specific things that I’m passionate about. Maybe I will someday, but for now remaining anonymous is the right thing for me to do.

  2. How do you feel when/if Christians ask you if they can pray for you? Do you still let them?

    3. I don’t have a problem with people praying for me in private, but I don’t want to know about it. I would definitely have a problem with someone praying for me in my presence, because I just don’t think it’s helpful or considerate. Luckily, no one has tried to pray with me since I became an atheist.
    Saying “I’m praying for you” is such a normal part of speech for Christians that it might be hard for them to adapt to non-Christians, or they might not even want to. When Christians say this to me, I just say “thanks” or “okay” and try to move the conversation along. It doesn’t bother me too much, but I’d also caution Christians against saying this to non-Christians too often. One problem is that if you just say “I’m praying for you,” I have no idea what that means. Are you praying for me to believe in God? Are you praying that I’ll be healthy and happy? Are you praying that I’ll be a stronger atheist? If you are determined to tell an atheist that you’re praying for him, think carefully about your motivation. If you simply want me to know that you’re thinking about me and you care about me, consider using words that would be meaningful to both of us, instead of just to you. Remember that atheists don’t believe in God, so prayer means nothing to us. If your intention in talking about prayer or trying to pray with someone is to influence them to believe in God, don’t be shifty about it. Even if someone can’t accept my nonbelief, it’s a lot easer for me to respect their beliefs if they are honest about their motivations.

  3. You made the statement of “unfortunately, most people don’t seem capable of just listening and receiving someone else’s story.” I completely agree. I also think that this is one of the biggest reasons why most Atheists and Christians are unable to have a mature, back and forth conversation. With all the passion that is involved in the great God debate, what advice would you give to Christians and Atheist alike in attempt to promote the type of relationships that you’ve described? Do you think it’s REALLY possible for people, say you and I, to have deep faith/no faith conversations without being forceful, bull-headed, or angry? If so, why can’t more people see to figure out how to do it?

    4. I do think it’s possible to have these conversations in a civilized way, and I also think it’s possible to have very deep relationships with people who disagree about religion.

    It has to start with pure intentions. Your motivation shouldn’t be to convert anyone or even to sow seeds of doubt in anyone’s mind, but to hear their story and know their perspective, and to share yours, so you can be enriched by each other. You have to be honest with yourself about what your intentions are. If you say you don’t want to convert anyone but you have an idea in your mind that you’re going to drop little Christian tidbits in conversation and it would be great if you could cause them to doubt, it will always come out in your words or actions. If you do have that intention, it’s best to be honest from the start. I’ve had Christians say to me, “you know, I do want you to become a Christian again, and I’ll try to restrain myself but I can’t guarantee that I won’t preach or quote scripture at you sometimes. I hope you’ll forgive me when that happens.” I really appreciate and respect that. That kind of honesty can save a friendship.

    I can honestly say that I have no intentions of leading anybody away from whatever road they’re on. I’m in my infancy as an atheist and I’m quite happy figuring out my own road and sharing it with people who want to walk with me. I’ve actually had conversations with Christians where I’ve sensed that they had some doubt in their own faith, and I knew there were strong atheist things I could say that would rip that seam a little wider. But I keep quiet, both out of respect for them and their faith, and because I know I’m not ready for the responsibility of trying to change someone’s mind on something so important.

  4. What made you decide to record your journey and publish it for the world to read?

    5. I started my blog kind of on a whim, out of frustration and anger at being silenced. I wanted to set a precedent for atheist students at Wheaton and other Christian colleges. At Wheaton, atheist students are either treated like they don’t exist, or are used as examples of what not to be. I was tired of that, even when I was still a Christian, and I think it’s a really lousy way to go through college being treated as second-class because of your nonbelief.

    Mostly I just wanted to get things off my chest and have a place where I could be honest. Being able to write and having the support of people online has helped me get through this semester with my sanity intact.

More to come tomorrow!

Care to comment?

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